Being intentional with good self-care habits
Last month I wrote about my journey into making more time for my own self care. I wanted to let you know how things are going and then take a look at things we could be doing to help take care of ourselves.
When we talk about self care a lot of the time it is things to do when you’re alone. But as a single parent with two children I struggle with finding the time. So I’m finding ways to include my boys and hopefully instill some good habits in them for the future. I have of course included things to get some ‘you’ time as this is still very important to me.
Goal setting
Firstly I set myself some goals:
- Eat more healthily
- Get to bed earlier
- Spend more quality time with my boys
- Stop looking at my phone so much!
Things are moving forward in a positive way and I can feel where things have got easier. I say I feel, because for me I was always feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and I definitely feel that less now.
Eat more healthily
I’m eating better, I make time for breakfast and spend those few minutes in the morning with the boys. My eldest found a couple of old cookbooks in the back of a cupboard and has been picking one new meal to try every week, which has been fun as he’s getting involved with the cooking. My youngest also likes to get involved with helping, which is lovely but as he’s 3 it doesn’t always go to plan!
I mentioned in my last blog I had got stuck in a rut with food. But nutrition is so important for self care and fueling ourselves for busy lives. I’ve always been really good at getting the boys to eat healthily and both really enjoy their food. But my relationship with food isn’t as positive. I eat a lot of junk especially once the boys are in bed. So this was a big priority to me. I have found meal planning really helpful, especially when making sure I’ve got everything I need. And I’m trying to reach for healthy snacks instead of chocolate but one step at a time lol!
One other thing to add to eating healthy is to drink more water!
Something I often forget but I’m making a real effort to drink more water in the day and it has definitely helped boost my energy levels and lift the ‘brain fog’ I was getting.
Helping lift my mood and get rid of those nasty toxins along the way.
Get to bed earlier
I’m still not great at getting myself to bed earlier but it really depends on the type of day we’ve had. I find the days when the boys have been more willing to help it’s easier as I don’t have so much left to do once they are in bed. I also wanted to be up earlier which isn’t a problem as my youngest thinks 5am is a reasonable time to be awake! So I’m up early just not in the relaxing me time way I wanted it to be! Getting enough sleep is another one of my top priorities. But I have always struggled to sleep, even when I was young. As a rule adults need between 7 to 9 hours a night. Take a look at my blog on sleep for some tips on good sleep hygiene. I’d love to get to the point where I’m following some of these regularly rather than just falling into bed exhausted at the end of the day.
Quality time
I’m getting more quality time with the boys, even by involving them in everyday tasks, this is still time together. Making sure I don’t look at my phone between school pick up and bedtime has been great for me as well. I will check if it rings or goes off to make sure it’s nothing important but staying off social media has really helped me be more present with the boys.
Making lists and being more organised has definitely helped with my anxiety and stress. I do feel like I can manage better when things are planned out. And having a really good plan of what I’m doing keeps me on top of things. Getting my eldest to do age appropriate chores has really helped. Check out last month’s blog for some ideas on age appropriate chores. It’s not foolproof, I still find clothes left on the bathroom floor and dishes not cleared away. But a gentle reminder and he’s usually quick to get it sorted.
Self care is going to look different for everyone.
For me it’s not always possible to get lots of time alone for self care so it’s doing things with my boys as well. One thing I find beneficial to myself and the boys is getting outside. We often try to leave the house earlier than needed in the mornings on the school run and walk around a nature area near my home. My eldest really struggles with being cooped up in a classroom all day and it really helps to get some exercise in the morning. Same in the evenings, we very rarely go straight home and allow a bit of time for fresh air and tree climbing. Getting outside can improve your mood and reduce feelings like anger or stress. Not to mention the physical benefits of being active. It can be a good way to connect with the local community and meet people, if only briefly. We often stop and chat to someone walking their dog or local bird watchers.
Try something creative, again another thing I can get the boys involved in or just join in with them. Playdough is a favourite of ours at the moment and luckily something they both find enjoyable (there is 7 years between them so it can be tricky at times). Sometimes we draw or write short stories, this has been a useful tool for my son. Being creative is a healthy way to express feelings and emotions. There are so many activities to choose from; painting, singing, playing an instrument, gardening, writing or journaling, or photography.
Along the same lines, make yourself your favourite drink and take the time to enjoy it. You cannot believe the number of cups of tea I make that go cold before I get to drink them!!! It is now a strict rule in my home that when we get home at the end of the school or work day I get 10 minutes to have a cup of tea and the boys entertain themselves and it’s done wonders to give me a few minutes to sit down and relax before starting the evening routine.
Phone alternatives
I’ve mentioned I have stopped looking at my phone when the boys get home from school. But I still have a tendency to ‘scroll’ after they have gone to bed. So I’ve been taking recommendations for TV series to watch or good films. Other suggestions to make more of my time could be to listen to music, a podcast or listen to an audio book.
So overall I have made some time for myself, a cup of tea here and there, and a nice soak in the bath rather than looking at my phone. I have found a relaxing bath with my drink of choice and Netflix on my phone works wonders. I’m still going to keep my goals in mind and will touch back in with you all over the coming months about self care. For now let me know if you’ve made some self care goals? Or do you have some self care tips to share with others? Let me know!
My next blog will be out in the New Year and I’ve got some exciting ones lined up for 2023!
I’ll be touching on subjects like:
- Social media and how to keep young people safe and support us all to develop healthy habits online.
- Finding local and national resources, taking a look at what help and support is available in our local area and country wide.
- Parental involvement in a young person’s care.
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Wishing you a very happy Christmas!
Louise
Peer Support Worker
