Communication is key to building successful effective relationships. But it can be hard to build new relationships with mental health professionals. Especially when those individuals involved with your family may change regularly. I know personally with one service we never saw the same person more than once. It was very difficult to build trust. Constantly having to repeat myself was very frustrating and my son was not getting the consistency he deserved.
In my last blog I talked about my own experiences in understanding mental health and my son’s recovery journey. I have really had to work on my own expectations of professionals and in some ways the expectations I had of myself and my son.
Below are a few things that I try to keep in mind when we have a new service become involved with our family.
1. Set realistic goals
It is a good idea to talk about expectations and set realistic goals together as a family and communicate these to professionals. I find making a list of all the points I want to cover and having it with me helps.
I have especially learnt to communicate what I don’t want to happen, things that I know won’t work for my son. This is especially important to me now as in the past when I raised concerns with a service about how my son would engage with a particular therapy I felt dismissed. I knew what they suggested wouldn’t be right for him but I felt that I couldn’t say no. In the end the distress my son felt every week having to go to the sessions was awful and unfortunately the experience was not a positive one.
Remember you know your child best and you know what has or hasn’t worked for you as a family before.
2. Set your boundaries
You and your child should never feel pressured to share things you don’t want to share. And it is a good idea to set boundaries for your own level of comfort. Hopefully as the professional relationship develops so will what you and your family feel comfortable sharing.
3. Make sure you understand what’s being said to you
Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if you don’t understand something. It is important to understand and be able to recall what is said to you. Hopefully professionals will avoid using jargon and acronyms but always check if something isn’t clear.
4. Don’t get disheartened
This is easier said than done but remember recovery is not a straight line. It may be a process that starts over and over again. But each time you will learn more about yourself, your child and your family. You will learn what works for you all and what doesn’t.
5. Have a support system for yourself
I have a close friend who I can share my worries and frustrations with over a glass of wine. But it could be your partner or a family member. There are also online support groups where you will find parents and carers going through similar experiences. As well as websites, apps and helplines. Look out for future blogs directing you to some of these and my experiences of using them.
6. Enjoy small victories
Setbacks may happen but it’s important to identify the wins no matter how small. This keeps us motivated towards our bigger goals. It also feels really good and helps us and our child feel happiness and pride in our achievements.
7. Look after yourself
Taking time out for ourselves to destress is so important for us and our children. Whether this is a long walk or listening to music. Watching a favourite tv show or taking a long bath. Look out for my next blog with some top tips for self care.
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